Relationships

Why Are Africans Obsessed With Marriage?

Why Are Africans Obsessed With Marriage

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Dimma Umeh’s rant on YouTube was so legit necessary and this wasn’t undermining marriage as an institution, no.

I also think that the reason why single people are not free to air their frustrations around marital pressure is that they are still single. It’s even worse if you are “overdue” single, you know what I mean.

So, if a married person comes to rant about the pressure people put on people to be married, no one is thinking extra, but if a single woman, especially, does, comments like these are what you read:

Oh, is she frustrated now?

Seems like she is losing it.

You better go and marry and stop disturbing social media.

Thankfully, Dimma’s followers seem to be very reasonable and logical, most of who are women who are experiencing the same thing.

My own take on the marriage pressure is that it is too late to get the society to think straight around this issue. We already caught the ‘go get married’ bug.

What I think is that women in these shoes themselves are responsible for how they feel and should, therefore, do the work of protecting themselves from the lions on the street.

Learn how to manage the pressure and be happy with your single life all the same. The society is never going to change, at least, not very soon, so don’t bother.

Just do you and be happy while you wait for the right person.

My friend Oluwafunmbi Purpose (who got married to the love of her life earlier this month, yaaaaaaaaaaay) wrote a very informative post on my blog on how to handle the pressure to get married. I suggest that you read it, it is very good.

As at that time, she was single and dealing with the pressure. I must say that she gave another practical perspective to living life as a single person with so much fulfillment. I watched her enjoy all of her single days and really if you do not learn how to do that, you will marry the wrong person in a bid to please people.

I remember how difficult it was for me to break off my last relationship. I was constantly unhappy. It was just so glaring that the relationship was not for me, yet I held on.

I held on for so many reasons but I must say that fear was among. How do I face the world? How do I return to singleness? Until I finally stepped up and left, I didn’t quite understand that the world was not going to end.

I could not believe for the life of me that I was going to enjoy my singleness after the breakup. Every day, I learn smarter and more polite ways to respond to people asking me about marriage because, in the end, it is not about them, it is about me.

I am going to be more vocal in some of my other posts about singleness, enjoying it legitimately, waiting for the man God is bringing your way, learning contentment and becoming whole as an individual.

So, while you wait for this beautiful man the Lord is bringing your way, have all the fun.

Let me hear you in the comments section. Are you single? How are you dealing the pressure to get married?

 

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(12) Comments

  1. I am single. I don’t give a shii or damn about what people say, trust me. I’m just being very patient. True Love will fine me, definitely. At the moment, i just have to be happy, have fun, focus and work on myself, set and smash some goals, achieve big and great things while i wait for my Prince Charming. It’s that simple. It’s been working for me. I will end up getting the best of the best. O don’t need to rush. PATIENCE is the key. Be deaf to what people say. Take your time and chill. Don’t be too desperate because you will definitely settle for less. I bet you, true love will find you. Good men are out there. It’s just about a matter of time. Thank you.

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      Patience, Kemi. Thanks

  2. Tofunmi says:

    The pressure here is hell crazy menhhhh. I nor even get boyfriend, na marriage kon remain. I will wait. I just don’t respond when parents, relatives, friends, neighbours talk about it. The right time will come. Everyone must understand that.

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      Exactly

  3. I just think it’s better to ignore people who are pressurizing. I’m single though.

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      Hmmmmmm, very true.

  4. Walahi. The pressure became tensed when I concluded my youth service. Everyone was asking ” how far? How far? When are you calling us?
    Shu! Suitors were and are still coming but I needed to cool my head and know what is good for me.

    I consciously distracted myself, got really busy with things that mattered most and yes! I became fine.

    If we allow people to push us into what is not right.. They won’t be there to help us when the struggle begins.

    http://www.thexemplary.com

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      That’s just simple truth, I am happy you are taking your time and not being pressurized.

  5. Shebi it’s you that is giving them audience. I have been tagged rude on this issue and I find it a very easy shift of discussion material. Now, let’s discuss why you are rude, that might be why you are still single. I prefer to talk that than to discuss why I am patently waiting to be with someone that I should be with.

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      So weird! There is always a bad reason why single people are still single, ahahahahaa…

  6. Great! Watched this video a long time ago and I was blessed!

    http://www.emetelivin.com.ng/

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      Oh, great. Awesome.

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