Many times, we ladies ask for time to pray or make enquiries about guys who ask us out; the irony is, we sometimes take annoyingly such a long time that the guy eventually doesn’t bother us anymore.
This brings to mind a little story of one of my “toasters” who I was already liking even before he asked me out. He eventually did and I was forming ‘let me take some time to pray’, it took me some time actually because I was weighing my options and didn’t want to appear cheap if I said yes too soon, I summoned courage and was ready to say yes at about a month and 2 weeks, then he came up with stories of how his pastor saw a vision and blah blah blah. Mehn, I was pained.
In the place of liking people, I make bold to say, ‘People usually like people who are like them’; which means there’s actually some reflections of you in the person you’re liking. So before a guy comes to say he likes you and asks you out for a meaningful relationship, there must have been something about you that resonates with him.
This is not to say you should just jump and agree to date any guy immediately he claims to like you.
That’s why I’ll be giving some tips that will help you decide either to say yes or no in little time.
The first and most non-negotiable tip is to know yourself, have a full idea of your kind of person. I wouldn’t want to start sounding all motivational but read the following lines slowly and for about three times and let it sink.
UNTIL YOU HAVE DISCOVERED GOD (the One you believe created you), YOU CAN NOT DISCOVER WHO YOU ARE because He obviously has your manuscript AND UNTIL YOU HAVE DISCOVERED WHO YOU ARE, YOU CAN NOT DISCOVER YOUR LIFE MISSION (purpose), IF YOU HAVEN’T FOUND THESE, YOU DO NOT NEED A MATE, BOO OR BAE.
Here’s why, if you eventually agree to a relationship with a guy whose line of career, job or character contradicts yours, there’ll definitely be conflicts every now and then in your relationship. Take for example, you’re a straightforward gentle church girl and here’s a lousy garage tout who lies and drinks all things “drinkables” asking you to be his woman, I can bet you’ll have tough times agreeing to his many lies and hooliganism.
So first, get to know what matters to you as a person and what you can live with, draw up a value system for yourself. Note that your values will be greatly influenced by your exposure, experiences, environments and upbringing.
This brings to mind again the story of a romantic liar I was told. He was very caring but lies so much that the devil shivers. The babe being a person who values honesty and transparency, she couldn’t keep up with his lies and they had to break up three months into their relationship.
So as a lady, you need to know what you value, those attitudes and characters you cherish and you exhibit just before you agree to a relationship with a man.
The second tip after you have discovered God, yourself and purpose and there’s a toaster or many of them lurking around you is to ask questions, ask questions to reveal their intentions, likes and dislikes, values, relationships with other people, his job, etc.
When you have asked these questions and you discover his answers are contrary to your beliefs, then you should say no and not feel guilty about it because you have an idea of what you want in a relationship.
I hope these help you to make decisions you’d be proud of and of course enjoy your relationship. How long at most has it taken you to say yes?