Speaking of Lagos passengers, Olumide Glowville, wrote one hilarious post on Facebook and I already decided that it is going to be something light and hearty for you.
Types of people in Lagos danfo buses
1. The lousy ones
They never stop talking and gossiping aloud. From their gossip, you will know the entire story, and it’s always about someone who ate too much at a party. Or someone who stole another person’s husband, or church matters. Some will even be on phone call and divulge every detail to whom it may concern. Yorubas are mainly guilty of this. Other tribes do it too, but I don’t understand their language, so I forgive them.
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2. The Mobile DJs
These ones enter the bus with their loud Chinko phones, either listening to Yoruba programs on Bond FM or dead songs from the past. They are usually the only ones that enjoy what they are listening to, but the rest of us have to suffer for it.
3. The ones with body odour
Right from the moment you make the unfortunate decision to sit beside these people, you know you are in trouble; especially when others are shouting “please help us shift o” and you have to draw closer to the body odoured person. Kuku kill me before the next bus stop.
4. The ones that don’t know their way
At least one out of three buses must have this kind of people. They are JJCs to that route. Some of them are smart enough to ask the next passenger for help, some others will keep shouting it in the driver’s ears till he takes them to the right bus stop. But some people will keep shut and be like “shebi I have told the conductor before entering”. Those ones usually stop at Seme border before realizing they are on their own.
5. The change agents
These ones enter almost every bus with big denominations. The bus fare is N50, they will enter with N500. The bus fare is N100, they will enter with N1000. They are usually the conductors before the real conductor. They be like “Brother, do you want to give him N50? Bring it”. They are the reasons Lagos conductors now marry people by force inside the bus.