We all want to live a purposeful life without sabotaging who we are. I remember how frustrated I was because I was not aware of what I ought to do or what steps to take in other to fully discover who I am and what I represent. I will be sharing tips that helped me through this journey of self-discovery. I also need you to know that I am still using them.
Let’s begin with this
Do you know yourself well? Are you clear about what you want in life?
Well, these questions pop in at one point in our lives especially when we are not getting the expected results we hoped for. Not to worry, if you are reading this today you can pick a few tips to help you understand who you are and what to do in other to feel fulfilled. Understanding your journey will help you discover yourself fully and allow you to make decisions that will enhance your productivity.
The essence of self-discovery is to create an awareness of you and directions to go in life.
When you come to the realization of who you are, and what you represent, it is easier for you to develop yourself. This will also help you build your esteem, personally develop yourself, get help where you need to and skillfully empower yourself. There are things you ought to know first to fully understand your self-discovery journey.
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A) Nature: The first step into self-discovery is to understand where you are coming from, the way you were raised by your parent(s), what you were taught, the things you were exposed to. These are part of your nature because they consist of your upbringing.
During the realization of who you are, different questions begin to come up. You discover how you got to know some particular things, what your parent(s) passed on to you, the effect of your environment on you. As you continue to ask different questions there is a need to note, at least, mentally, all that you came across, this will help you make your decisions.
B) Nurture: During this process, you have a decision to make. What and what should be allowed in your life. And it begins with nature (your upbringing).
The realization of how you were brought up and what you are exposed to will help you build the woman you want to be. You know which is right at this process, you know what will personally enhance you. Changing your company of friends, staying in an empowering environment, intentionally living a life you have decided for yourself.
Realizing these two will bring different awareness of who you are, which I also experienced. At the long run, these few steps help you discover yourself fully
1. Learn to take responsibility
At times we want to shift blames and responsibility to the nearest person to us. Doing this will only make you shy away from the decisions you ought to make.
Taking responsibility for your life is not mere play because you have to come to the realization of what and who you are, and what you intend to become. So you don’t have to blame others for things that happened in your life.
Instead, you take responsibility and look for how to be better. Whether you had a rough upbringing or not, were molested, had a parent or not, it doesn’t matter anymore because what is important now is the step you are willing to take right now, at this moment.
I know I went through this but I am willing to rewrite my story. I am ready to own my past, my story and get to a better place. I am willing to learn all it takes and what I need to move from where I am right now to where I really want to be. Henceforth, I am taking charge of my life!
You have a choice, and the responsibility to make the right one is on you. I tell people, you are responsible for your happiness. Nobody, I mean nobody, is responsible for your happiness.
You can choose to be happy, you can choose to be angry or even choose to ignore. So stop giving people permission to rule your life. Live your life and take your own decisions. And let it be that you made the choice not because someone, somewhere did.
2. Build character not reputation
Have you ever wonder what happened to some of the people you know and respect? What happened to them all of a sudden? How they became irrelevant? We often get carried away with reputation – what (and who) people say we are get to us and we forget to build who we truly should be. When you focus on building your reputation and ignore true self-development, there will be a day where reputation might not be able to sustain you anymore.
Character will sustain your reputation. Your character is you, self, how you have been able to nourish yourself. Reputation is what people say about you. These people will not stick around when they don’t get a sustainable value. As you journey through discovery yourself, build character, concentrate on it and nurture it well. It will then reflect your reputation.
3. Be intentional about it
It is one thing to do all these things, it is another thing to be intentional about them. You can’t be forced to discover or nurture yourself. There is a place of self willingness, a determination to build a purposeful life even when it might seem not easy at first. The process of growth is not once, it is a gradual journey that needs concentration and determination to go through. You have got to be intentional about what you want, stand firm and don’t give up on it.
Even when it seems as if you are not getting the excepted results, remember that failure is just a word, what we have is just feedback. The feedback will help you know where you need to improve better. Check your life, if there are still things you are lagging behind on it does not mean you are a failure, look out for the feedback and work on it.
Remember, you are responsible for your life and the journey to self-discovery depends on how you see yourself and how you intend to work on it.
Guest contributor: Blessing
Featured image credit: Huffington Post
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