This is to all the quiet and introverted women out there. It is entirely okay to be gentle or quiet or introverted. Do not mind what people say or how much people comment about your quietness. That is how and who you are. If someone loves you, they would accept you wholeheartedly as you are. They wouldn’t want to change the very essence of your personality and being.
As a quiet Nigerian lady, I find people tell me that I am so quiet and yes, I am. Infact I am of the INFJ personality type according to MBTI, which is a personality type indicator. And being an INFJ means I’m gentle, a very empathetic person, love harmony, shy away from conflicts, just to mention a few.
This is the very core of who I am truly. INFJs are also called Advocates, protectors, and counselors. And I fit into those as well but you would only know that if you study me carefully.
I have had my other quiet friends tell me how frequently other people comment about their quietness. And I just tell them to keep being themselves with pride. Because people can’t be satisfied and are truly never satisfied with the way things are.
I mean we were taught in secondary school economics that humans are insatiable right? Well that statement has never been proven wrong by any human I know of. No matter how much you change yourself to please a person (or people), they will never be contented. Not their fault, they’re just being human…
They would want to change you into what they ‘feel’ you should be. Even if it means emotionally blackmailing you into it. And I have seen quiet people fake extroversion just so they can fit in. That really is not needed. Be and Do what comes naturally to you. Be you. There are reasons you are born as ‘You’. God knows why he didn’t create all humans and even animals to be of the same personalities.
Each unique personality has its own unique purpose it serves for humanity. So forcefully being what you’re not is like losing touch of your purpose entirely. No need, absolutely no need to fake extroversion. Pressure will come. It’s normal. That’s life. You could even find that your dad or mom is the one pressuring you to be more extroverted. It could be anyone, a friend, relative, or even a total stranger. Taking your stand is what matters.
I will, however, like to point out that there are limits to everything. Extreme introversion is not healthy and so is extreme extroversion. No matter how introverted you are, there should be a balance. Everything in life is about balance and decency. I’ve heard a quote that says, ‘Too much of one thing is not good’. And I totally agree.
If you spend a lot of time alone, you need to find people to talk to as well. Or just be in the midst of people. It helps a lot. Extremely extroverted people can also learn to give themselves some private time. At least to reflect and get in touch with their inner selves. It is very key to balance. Very necessary for the development of a healthy personality.
This article is more of a reassurance to all my quiet fellows out there to embrace themselves and carry their personalities boldly. I really appreciate the diversity of human personalities and find almost every personality type intriguing. So remember to love who you are.
You may be asked weird questions like, ‘Why are you so quiet?’ Or something like this, ‘I have never heard you talk!’ They just don’t understand you. They don’t understand that you are not wired the way they’re wired. If you care to give a reply, you can simply say, ‘I do talk.’ While accompanying it with a smile. Or you might decide not to give a reply and just smile.
So, be you. Love yourself. Spread love. Be okay with who you are while still striving to be a better version of that ‘you’. Self love is very important. It’s okay to quiet Sweetie. Guess what? Quiet people rock! Yay or Nay?
Photo credit: Madamenoire
Article written by Moyinoluwa Olawoye