Ladies of the earth!
Okay, you have heard the phrase thrown around very well. Yoruba demons are demons, simple. More explicitly put, heartbreakers that don’t have the fear of God kobo.
It’s not even like I have dated many men in my lifetime but I cannot miss these ones. Emi ke. I am going to assume that you are a good girl like me.
If I am correct you are so in the right place because I am going to show you how to identify Yoruba demons. Coupled with your grandma’s prayers (if you haven’t changed your name to Lucy), you should be spared of impending danger after reading this article.
1. Their whites are crisp and spotless
You see them in groups, swarming around like bees at Owambes and they can daaaaaaance, eh. The white on them will be so sharp and crisp. The ones on shades among the pack, aunty, they are the most dangerous. Don’t even try it!
2. Anyone who has a full, lush beard is a Yoruba demon
Hehehehe, that your #mcm, with beards and sorts, Yoruba demon ni. You will say I said it. If all he does is to groom beards and look for beard oil, you just miss road, reverse.
3. If he is too fine, he is a Yoruba demon
Sorry plis, did you say he looks like Gu Jun Pyo? And he has pink lips? He is a Yoruba demon o. You even get mind sef, especially if he is living in Lagos. Auntiiiiiiii…
4. One of his friends/a family member has called you “awa wife”
My sister, remove your heels and run. “Awa wife” ke! Next thing, you are in the kitchen turning ofuloju.
5. They have shared wine with Dangote
Today, “Dangote doesn’t drink red wine o, hope you know”. Tomorrow, “I and Otedola ate shawarma yesterday. The guy is not as posh as you think jhor”. Is even still good laidis, o shin da bayi hun, but when he mentions that Simi is his ex, you better talk to your legs. Oniro oshi.
6. He doesn’t reply to your chats until forever
Wo, babe, just give yourself peace of mind. How can he say his phone went off. Was it his ghost that wrote, “balling with the boys” on IG stories?
7. If he is too smooth, he is a Yoruba demon
Alakoba boy! You will see as he will be throwing lines. Eh, God! That thing can turn someone’s head one kain one kain. If it’s doing you like you should be following him home after the first sentence, you have entered one chance o. Yoruba demon is authentic!
8. He won’t pick his calls while you are there
This one is even easy. Some Yoruba demons are dumb on top. The smart ones will just say. ‘hey Gloria, yes, call me later, I am busy and remember to submit the files’. The dumb Yoruba demons, the phone will be ringing ni.
9. “Let’s just keep this between us”
Hehehehe… yes o, keep it between the two both of you until you see his pre-wedding pictures on Instagram. The painful part is that he will now even be saying he can’t wait to spend forever with Yetunde. That is the painful part.
10. Your first date is supposed to be at his house
Are they doing party there? No.
Is there restaurant inside your house? No
Okay, okay, maybe you have big screen and the latest movie in your room? No, I have Netflix.
Dude’s been starved o, he needs some cookie. You better just moonwalk back into your corner.
Plix and plix, let’s epp each other, what other Yoruba demon characteristics do you know o. Because as I just published this article, I am the next target laidat beyen!