Hardcore truth : why no one supports you
I was going through my Facebook feed last week and I stumbled on a rant. I have been seeing different types of it in different forms all from different people and they are all asking – why don’t people support me like they should? Why do people go on to enable, praise and lift the big guys, the ones that obviously need no lifting, these ones who are already made and they leave their folks who really need help?
For entrepreneurs, this is a more relatable subject. I mean, you struggle so hard to be seen and heard. You struggle to make a distinction among the pack. You aren’t the only one who’s got excellent packaging, or a nice story behind your brand. There are so many other people who are doing excellently well. You therefore need a push, more help, more people to come on board and support you and be really there.
Instead of whining and complaining, are you asking the right questions? Why aren’t people supporting me? Why aren’t people there like they should? Are you asking these questions objectively? I have three points I want you to consider if you are in these shoes. Three things I want you to ponder on. Three questions I want you to ask yourself if you are tired of the no support. Here are reasons why no one supports you.
You don’t support other people
Remember that I said that this is going to be hardcore because until someone steps up to help you see what you should see, you are going to be on the same spot, complaining and still not moving forward. If you don’t support other people, they won’t support you.
Human beings that we are, we are naturally selfish. We like to be at the center of it all, we want to be praised and respected. If you are not appealing to that side of them, commending them, supporting them, they may not support you.
You expect people to share your Facebook posts, you don’t share theirs, like their posts or pass comments. You don’t interact with people on social media, and you expect them to interact with you? No, it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just put up a picture on Instagram and feel entitled because it’s a very nice picture and you should be praised. Be appreciative of other people if you want to be appreciated.
When you support someone, they note it, people around them also note it. They tell someone about how much you have been good to them. Don’t worry that you are preparing the ground for the rainy day. If they don’t step up for you in return of the support you have offered in times past, others will. So, support other people, lift them up in your own capacity and then watch people lift you up too.
You don’t ask
I know that you expect people to automatically see your needs. They are obvious, glaring and staring at them in the face. I agree. Do you however know that even though you are staring at something, your brain is not picking up what it should. For example, you can be staring at a beautiful piece of art on the floor. Common sense should tell you to pick it up if it is in an inappropriate place but the beauty of this art has got you mesmerized and transported you into a different world entirely, so much that you can’t even pick up the instinct to treat it right.
This is what happens in so many other instances. People see you, they appreciate your work, they like what you do but until you ask for specific favors, they may not know that you need help. They may not know where and how to help you even if they sense the need.
So, ask. Ask that your friends help you share a post on their feeds. Ask family to help you pick up some of your production materials. Ask a friend who spends every waking moment on Instagram, if they can handle your business account. They only have to add it to their Instagram app and that’s all. They shuttle in between theirs and yours and really, it’s not too much of trouble for them, it is more fun.
There was a time I asked my mum to help me to do a certain thing as regards my blogging. She has ever since then been asking of other ways she can help. I couldn’t help but smile when she asked if she could start sharing my blog posts on Facebook. My laughter reminded her of a dead Facebook account whose password nobody knows.
I have seen professional, established and successful Bloggers ‘beg’ blog readers to share their blog posts. A Blogger friend of mine complained to me, she was pissed that people pass comments on the blog posts she shares on Facebook. They don’t do same on the blog posts themselves. I asked her if she has asked. You have to ask people to comment on your blog posts instead. I once had to chat up people who commented on a Facebook post one by one. I asked for reasons why they were not commenting on my blog. I genuinely wanted to know why. Some said it was difficult to, others just didn’t see the need. I had to ask the later to help comment on the blog instead.
So, ask people for support in your business, your ministry, everywhere you know they can.
You are not worth the trouble
This is hard to say but say, I must. Listen, sometimes you do nothing and people just rise up to help you. Have you seen and heard of people who were discovered and helped? They did nothing but help and support just arose.
These people were worth the trouble. Why? They were exceptional, excellent at what they were doing. They were passionate and intentional. They put in the work to deliver quality and impact people meaningfully. These people have purposed to touch lives with their gifts. They perfected the art of their service and delivered the best.
Soon, people could not help but notice them. They just had to be supported. Are you worth the time and energy? Are you worthy of support? Before you complain about people not supporting you, would you support anyone doing what you are doing?
Ask yourself these questions. Ponder on them. Let me know what you think in the comments section.