Today’s blog post is on the much dreaded Nigerian topic : mother-in-law visiting. My friend asked me to throw this out to people. Coincidentally, it was one question whose answers I was very much interested in. I rushed to put it up on my Facebook wall and I got a number of responses.
I have decided to share a few of them here on my blog because they could serve as extra guides and help for the panicky young woman. Some of these responses, I am sure, will also help the nervous sons-in-law.
Question : What advice would you give a young girl on a first time visit to her mother-in-law?
Below are some of the brilliant and useful responses that I gathered. Enjoy and learn:
“Make sure you’ve talked with her on the phone at least once before, so you get a bit of connection going on between you two before the actual first meeting.”
“Don’t pretend to be what you are not. Be You.”
“Just be you, no need to pretend. Being you doesn’t mean you should be disrespectful.”
“Be yourself, then if you can afford something, take it along, it doesn’t have to be expensive, just something from your heart, fruits are way safe.”
“Be yourself on a visit to your mother-in-law. Don’t go trying to prove anything. If they don’t love you the way you’re, then their son should look elsewhere.”
“Dear Girl, on your first time visit to your mother-in-law, be decently dressed and presentable. Be courteous and nice. Be watchful too.”
“Don’t try to be yourself. You have to appreciate the age difference. Just as you can’t do some things before your own parents, there are some things you must not do before her and you must impress her but don’t overdo it before you will cast. Be moderate.”
“Don’t buy the world for them to make you acceptable. Listen. Don’t talk like it’s only your mouth that has an opening. Think before you answer questions.”
“She is just another version of your mom.”
“She should not start anything she can’t continue on her first time visit to your mother-in-law… If she is not a friendly type, she should just maintain her lane for the first time.”
“Being patient to UNDERSTANDING every member of the family might be the only WISDOM to gain your ground and be loved by all. (Knowing their weaknesses and what impresses them all).”
“Consult widely on your first time visit to your mother-in-law, most importantly with her son and his sisters.”
“Yes when visiting your mother-in-law, be yourself and don’t try to impress. She will see through you as quick as flash, just like your mother does. And please develop a rapport with the siblings before going into their home. When I went for the first time, ’twas as if I was going into ‘my’ family, I was friends with all the siblings and also talked with the mother a couple of times. I wasn’t a total stranger and I had a soft landing, so to say…”
Here you go- advice for women visiting their mothers-in-law for the very first time. Would you like to add other things for first time visit to your mother-in-law? Do you have some advice that is not shared here? Would you love to share from experience? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Related: How to kill your mother-in-law