Epistles to Colleen #1 : Find Yourself

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I saw you yesterday; strutting along the corridors of the typical Nigerian street. And these males, the ones who think having a manhood is synonymous to been a god, kiss their teeth to call your attention but you wouldn’t stop. You wouldn’t give them a quarter of your time.
They began calling you names because you won’t respond to them. Because you shouldn’t be a commodity that would be priced amongst irresponsible men who grew up thinking every female is a sex object.
I know it’s hard to find love when such males exist but they are not the norm. Don’t allow their driving erection make you think all men think between their legs. There are exceptions. More than a handful of them. And they are searching for you.
The last relationship you had, you gave your all, all of yourself but the male you fell in love with, never returned your love. And so when he left, you couldn’t find yourself anymore. You became a shadow waiting for the sun to reveal your reflection.
Don’t be too hard on yourself; don’t run away from love because of your past experience. There are good men out there who wouldn’t unbutton your shirt to have your heart. These are the ones that honour love; they are unto you.
It’s okay not to be ready to begin another love journey again. I’d suggest you find yourself first. In finding love, you have to first find yourself. Because love isn’t logical, you wouldn’t want to begin another relationship not having a picture of who you want to be and who you want to be with. Open your eyes before you fall in love. But shut it after you do. Find yourself and love will find you.
Finally, being vulnerable to love, opening yourself to love isn’t something you should be ashamed of. To love unashamedly and with all of ourselves is to live.
So find yourself. Love without restrictions. And live.

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