do not become desperate

Hi, do not become desperate!

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In my tiny world of business, whenever someone approaches me for a service, I let them know how much my prices are if they haven’t checked already.

In the most polite of manners, I turn down and refuse to cut down from my standard charges because I always, ALWAYS, put out what I want to be paid at the end of the day. Negotiations, back and forth, all of those things are not my thing.

Asides from the fact that we as human beings are wired to negotiate, I think having a good negotiation skill is a very brilliant plus for any business person. So I would say that it is totally necessary I pick that up but while I am slothful about it, I would like to be plain and straight.

On some very special instances, I have given out discounts to folks that are desperately in need of my service and I see that there is a lack, they can’t honestly afford my services.

I usually say that if you can’t afford my services or anyone else’s as at the time of the offering, then it might be something you don’t necessarily need. Wait until you can. But yea, discounts have happened still.

This isn’t the crux of where I am going just yet, so stay with me. There are times that after talking and discussing with people, they tell me that they will get back to me. Some say right away that they didn’t know they would have to pay that much, so they just call it off.

Let me tell you what works 100% of the time. I am not bluffing here. It has worked every single time, in every single instance, except for the special discount cases.

I let these people be and they always come back later. Let me explain what’s happened.

They think, nah, I won’t do that for this price. I should get something cheaper. So they go sample round only to find out that they are having more expensive offerings or generally shitty services.

In the end, it turns out that my package is more valuable and considerably decent. So, they ALWAYS come back to say ‘please send me your account details’

Listen, there is a place of persuasion in business, but there is a very thin line between that place and desperation. Everybody knows what desperation looks like.

After the initial (mostly necessary) stage of pitching and explaining why your package is better, what comes after is watering down.

Never ever dilute your value. Openly disclose it, don’t over-explain.

Desperation forces people to think- what if there is a slight chance this person, this service, this product isn’t as awesome as I think it is? Why is there too much of urgency? What’s the fuss about? They begin to have second thoughts.

Now, this goes way beyond business. It spills into relationships, into career.

Have you ever wondered why some beautiful, confident girls end up with boys who never value them as much as you would expect them to be valued given their degree of awesomeness?

You see these babes kick ass in the office, achieve like eagles, soar in other areas of their existence but end up in less than average relationships with men who don’t give a hoot about them. They refused to allow the principles they use outside of the romantic relationships to work for them inside of it.

I was like that before. When he initially approaches me and it looks like he has almost everything I want in a man, I think to myself, if I don’t grab this one now, I would lose. Guess what happens, you grab too tight until you strangle them.

So, you explain your value over and over again, try to get them to see the awesomeness they already saw. And because you keep trying to explain, they switch. They become exhausted, so they either hit the run or treat you less than you deserve.

Oh girl, in 2019, you will not lose what is supposed to be yours so do not fight for things like you don’t have a hope, a future and a gloriously expected end. Do not go grabbing and hustling and influencing and pushing and pressing for stuff like that is going to be the best option ever and if you don’t grab it now, you will never see anything like it again.

Some very desperate inducing statements are already flying at you and I know how much this tempts you to settle and not just settle, run after. Statements like:

‘If you keep being picky like this, you will never find a man until you are 40’

I understand that there is the part of ‘too picky’, ‘unreasonably choosy’. I am not referring to that in all of these.

If you allow yourself to brood on these statements and you run into desperation, you will not only drive the right man away, you will pick the wrong man.

Any man can smell desperation, trust me, it never looks good on anyone, not even you so just go back to self-examination. What is getting you anxious? What is that making you consider settling for the next thing that ever whistles at you?

Desperation never looks good on anyone, man or woman. I recently met a man who’s so desperate it scares me. I ran for my life, literally. I thought to myself, this person would do anything to marry, I won’t go put myself in harm’s way. Yes, that was what I thought ‘harm’.

He successfully moved me from getting pissed at his desperation to making me consider my security.

This is not different from desperate job seekers. They are not difficult to spot because they respond from a place of fear, are willing to accept just about anything that is offered and would do anything to become employed.

If you are a child of God, you might want to check your trust tank. How low has it become? What are you feeding your mind with lately? Who are you moving with of recent? What’s supplying your energy? What books are you reading?

Lastly, I have admonished on what you should not do – become desperate. If you allow me, might I suggest other things you should do?

1. Trust God and believe that he has the best plans for you. See what Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Belief is very important! If you do not believe this, God is not going to be angry at you. You would have only shortchanged yourself.

2. Check out @maritalrelease on Instagram. It is a 15-day prayer chain. You will move the hands of God in your favour and learn how to pray right maritally. Pick this day after day and pray with it in all sincerity and truth.

Take a deep breath, calm down and trust that God loves you so much that he will not intentionally cause you harm. Do not ever become desperate at anything.

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