If you have been on social media for more than one day, you already know that it is a fast paced crazy world. For the life of me, in just 5 minutes, you already feel all kinds of emotions. Talk about it, anger, sadness, happiness, pity, everything. Gawd.
So ehn, there are some very annoying things that people say on social media. There is no need to go and tell them there so I will just use the beautiful opportunity of having a blog to vent here.
I will block you
Argggghhrrrrrrh… If I ever get so pissed as to nurse the thoughts of blocking you, I am doing it asap. Announcing it just kills all of the joy. I am supposed to be relieved and happy after blocking a trespasser.
Pictures or it didn’t happen
So, someone is narrating a very bitter experience and y’all just find it funny because this folk has always been funny. No, you don’t stop at being silly, you go on ahead to vocalize that. Ya asking for pictures of a boil in the butt. Oh my.
I don’t know which one vexes me the most. It’s probably this one. When others are busy typing out their responses, thoughts and opinions about a problem, someone is busy acting all sly and dubious. Dude, if you kanor say what you want to say here where everybody can see you, ain’t nobody inboxing you shit.
You are better than this
That’s how someone will come to menstruate on your social media page, you dish out your own fair warning (maybe with a little bit of cussing) and ‘Mr calm’ is talking about how better you are than that. Other stewpeed people too join in the protest. Wah, didn’t they see the provocation? Argggghhrrrrrrh….
You are too immature
This is just a slight variation of ‘you are better than this’. Dude, dish me nonsense, but wait for your turn. You just gats be served man. After you have been throughly served, you remember there is a ‘maturity’ word and just out of context, in the dumbest manner possible, you immediately can discern mature from immature people.
It is well
It is well? Like, it is well? Damn!
All the bros had to do was contribute to an intellectual discussion o but because they are so spiritual that they are dumb, they just can’t and they cover all of that folly with ‘it is well’. This is even better than when someone is actively seeking advice. ‘It is well’ is such the last thing you want to hear.
Can we know each other better?
There was this time I wanted to feel something. I was so bored. When I saw this message on social media, I decided that I would like to feel anger. So, I carried on with the convo. After a dry, lifeless, dumb conversation, I ended up telling him that I would marry him too. And he was so dumb he even believed that. I am rolling my eyes now.
U luk very sexy and ur lips are 4 kissing and I feel lyk sexing you
Somebody actually said that to me. #sighs
It’s my opinion. We can’t all share the same opinion.
Ble ble bleeeeeeeeeeee. Ya just not intelligent ni. Some facts are so glaring that having a second opinion is just proof that you didn’t finish paying up your school fees. Unfortunately, you didn’t jejely leave school, you went on to feed your brain with rubbish.
Do you know who I am?
Kikikikikikikikikiki…radarada. I don’t know who you are mbok. I don’t even want to know. Next pelzon!
You shouldn’t have responded
You cray? He just publicly tagged and insulted me. There must be some sort of confusion here. Let me me clear my name biko. Or maybe I shouldn’t really have responded. He talks like a bloated fool.
I came to book space
A.k.a I was here. A.k.a following
No meaningful comment o, they just came to announce presence. There are different ways to follow a convo online without going there to embarrass your ancestors.
Why? Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy? How can I not make sense to you? K? Why? I even go on to delete this kind of freaking comment. Others are ‘cool’, ‘nice’. And some people come on to say ‘xup’ to you in the comments section of an actual post. I am so done.