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3 Things I did to Overcome Blogger jealousy

Blogger Jealousy

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Amidst the fancy blogging topics and discussions are serious, underlying issues that we leave out. Some of these issues are those we are not proud to discuss with any other Blogger e.g having online jealousy.

I have had to deal with Blogger jealousy in the past. I am still dealing with it because it’s a continous thing. Except there are no expectations in this blogging thing you are doing, you will always have those ugly feelings creep in.

You would most likely feel disgusted by these feelings of Blogger jealousy. You might end up castigating yourself, spanking your brain and generally feeling like a bad person.

 

HOW TO OVERCOME BLOGGER JEALOUSY

I used to feel so unworthy and terrible and really bad. Why am I for God’s sake jealous of this Blogger who is on their own trying to be the best they can be in their own right? Why can’t I be at least happy for them and move on with my own process?

Apparently, this is not a popular topic, so there was no way in the world to know how other Bloggers felt, if they were still dealing with it and if they were on their own tiny journey of getting rid of Blogger jealousy.

I have practiced a few things in the past, I would love to share them with you if you are also experiencing Blogger jealousy.

I worked on my mindset

So, I compared blogging to life. In life, everyone is on their own journey. Some are moving at an impressive and faster rate. Other people are moving at a slow and steady rate. Some other people are just fine, living through and taking one step at a time.

This is life, I can do little, or nothing at all to alter some of the things that don’t directly affect me. I likened this to life and discovered that it was pointless to compare someone else’s journey with mine.

I understand that some other people are moving at a faster rate because they are exposed to a lot of resources, or they have more support from friends and family or they have more than enough money. I understand that some people have some special opportunities hence their speed. While I get to where I want to be as a Blogger, I decided to thoroughly enjoy the opportunities I have and utilize them.

Comparing yourself with anyone doesn’t make sense. It just doesn’t because we are not of the same or similar destinies. I worked on my mindset a whole lot. I needed to have a reorientation. This helped a great deal.

When I am tempted to be jealous of a Blogger, all I just tell myself is that this person is on a different journey blogging wise and life wise generally. I need to face mine.

I reached out

There are a couple of Bloggers that are insanely good and inspiring. Their blogs are just too good. So I would check their blogs and social media handles and think to myself, what is this person doing that I can’t?

Gross, right. Hey, we can just about talk about these things or pretend that they don’t exist and keep on struggling deep down with something everyone else is facing. That’s sicker than gross, actually.

What I did was reach out to a couple of them at different times. If they posted an Instagram photo and everyone was commenting and sharing and it’s genuinely nice, I said it. I take a step further, I send some of them emails of how inspired I am by their work.

This has worked every single time for me. I don’t know if it will for you but it has for me. Everytime I did it, all I looked forward to was their next post or a better platform for them. I am generally in for their good.

Now, I have had to unfollow some people. It was very drastic but my soul is important lol. I cannot be nursing negative feelings everytime I see your good work.

There are different reasons why I take the drastic action to unfollow. I remember trying to reach out to one of these influencers. I sent her an email, intentionally. Other times, subconsciously or should I say ‘not for a reason’, I passed comments on her social media handles. Her ignoring me hurt me.

I needed to understand that that hurt me and that didn’t mean I am bad, I am just a human being too. The other subsequent times I saw their posts, I had a myriad of negative feelings well up. It was such an unhealthy online thing, so I unfollowed.

I practiced gratitude

In complaining and comparing and being jealous, we miss the very important things. We are all about other people’s positives while we forget ours. Even if we are to really compare, the Blogger you are jealous of might me really lacking in some certain things you have all to yourself.

What if this other Blogger is there languishing over lack of interaction and a less engaging tribe? What if they (which is most certain) had other struggles they are ashamed to even admit? What if the difference between you and them is thankfulness and gratitude?

They are probably really thankful for milestones. They have been able to magnify their positives. Exaggerating the best part of your life doesn’t mean that you are pushing your negatives to oblivion. It’s just that you are maintaining the fact that they are not enough to rob you of the joy of your good days, great advantages, dedicated followership, the tiny spike in traffic, the recognition by another Blogger, the fact that you finally got a better phone.

Have you ever been international enough to count these blessings? Write some of then down, you’d be amazed how much you have, have done and how far you have come.

Have you ever been in these shoes before? Have you been able to get over it? If you have, what did you do?

Related: Challenges Bloggers face and how to overcome them

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(10) Comments

  1. Thank you Esther for this beautiful post. I’m learning to be grateful for the level I’ve gotten to as a blogger. One thing I know about this jealousy thing is that if not controlled, a blogger may lose the purpose for which the blog was created. I seriously don’t want that for my blog… Thanks for sharing these tips…

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      Yes, Grace. If one isn’t careful, one might lose originality too. Inasmuch as it is human, it is not healthy.

  2. I clicked the link as soon as my eye caught the title because this is one thing I’m learning to deal with, DAILY! I use a free WordPress account presently. On my followed sites are awesome bloggers.

    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      I hope you are able to bring yourself to get over it very soon. Warm hugs.

      1. Of course. I’m set on a course. That’s what matters.

        1. Esther Adeniyi says:

          Great!

  3. Esther thanks for this piece.It’s really helpful.

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      Glad it is.

  4. Adedamola Kolawole-Shittu says:

    Dear Esther, thank you so much for this post. You’re one of the bloggers I look up to. You encouraged me in the comment section of one of Glowville’s posts to open an IG account. I took your advice and I’ve never for once regretted it. You are one of my unsung heroes.

    I appreciate the fact that you’ve been modest enough to admit some of your inadequacies and steps you took to rise above them. It helps young writers like us to know that we are not alone, especially on that part about having to unfollow some people before starting to nurse ill-feelings towards those who are just doing their thing. Thanks again.

    1. Esther Adeniyi says:

      Oh, I am so glad I have been of positive impact to you. I really am. Thank you for your kind words.

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