Amidst the fancy blogging topics and discussions are serious, underlying issues that we leave out. Some of these issues are those we are not proud to discuss with any other Blogger e.g having online jealousy.
I have had to deal with Blogger jealousy in the past. I am still dealing with it because it’s a continous thing. Except there are no expectations in this blogging thing you are doing, you will always have those ugly feelings creep in.
You would most likely feel disgusted by these feelings of Blogger jealousy. You might end up castigating yourself, spanking your brain and generally feeling like a bad person.
I used to feel so unworthy and terrible and really bad. Why am I for God’s sake jealous of this Blogger who is on their own trying to be the best they can be in their own right? Why can’t I be at least happy for them and move on with my own process?
Apparently, this is not a popular topic, so there was no way in the world to know how other Bloggers felt, if they were still dealing with it and if they were on their own tiny journey of getting rid of Blogger jealousy.
I have practiced a few things in the past, I would love to share them with you if you are also experiencing Blogger jealousy.
I worked on my mindset
So, I compared blogging to life. In life, everyone is on their own journey. Some are moving at an impressive and faster rate. Other people are moving at a slow and steady rate. Some other people are just fine, living through and taking one step at a time.
This is life, I can do little, or nothing at all to alter some of the things that don’t directly affect me. I likened this to life and discovered that it was pointless to compare someone else’s journey with mine.
I understand that some other people are moving at a faster rate because they are exposed to a lot of resources, or they have more support from friends and family or they have more than enough money. I understand that some people have some special opportunities hence their speed. While I get to where I want to be as a Blogger, I decided to thoroughly enjoy the opportunities I have and utilize them.
Comparing yourself with anyone doesn’t make sense. It just doesn’t because we are not of the same or similar destinies. I worked on my mindset a whole lot. I needed to have a reorientation. This helped a great deal.
When I am tempted to be jealous of a Blogger, all I just tell myself is that this person is on a different journey blogging wise and life wise generally. I need to face mine.
I reached out
There are a couple of Bloggers that are insanely good and inspiring. Their blogs are just too good. So I would check their blogs and social media handles and think to myself, what is this person doing that I can’t?
Gross, right. Hey, we can just about talk about these things or pretend that they don’t exist and keep on struggling deep down with something everyone else is facing. That’s sicker than gross, actually.
What I did was reach out to a couple of them at different times. If they posted an Instagram photo and everyone was commenting and sharing and it’s genuinely nice, I said it. I take a step further, I send some of them emails of how inspired I am by their work.
This has worked every single time for me. I don’t know if it will for you but it has for me. Everytime I did it, all I looked forward to was their next post or a better platform for them. I am generally in for their good.
Now, I have had to unfollow some people. It was very drastic but my soul is important lol. I cannot be nursing negative feelings everytime I see your good work.
There are different reasons why I take the drastic action to unfollow. I remember trying to reach out to one of these influencers. I sent her an email, intentionally. Other times, subconsciously or should I say ‘not for a reason’, I passed comments on her social media handles. Her ignoring me hurt me.
I needed to understand that that hurt me and that didn’t mean I am bad, I am just a human being too. The other subsequent times I saw their posts, I had a myriad of negative feelings well up. It was such an unhealthy online thing, so I unfollowed.
I practiced gratitude
In complaining and comparing and being jealous, we miss the very important things. We are all about other people’s positives while we forget ours. Even if we are to really compare, the Blogger you are jealous of might me really lacking in some certain things you have all to yourself.
What if this other Blogger is there languishing over lack of interaction and a less engaging tribe? What if they (which is most certain) had other struggles they are ashamed to even admit? What if the difference between you and them is thankfulness and gratitude?
They are probably really thankful for milestones. They have been able to magnify their positives. Exaggerating the best part of your life doesn’t mean that you are pushing your negatives to oblivion. It’s just that you are maintaining the fact that they are not enough to rob you of the joy of your good days, great advantages, dedicated followership, the tiny spike in traffic, the recognition by another Blogger, the fact that you finally got a better phone.
Have you ever been international enough to count these blessings? Write some of then down, you’d be amazed how much you have, have done and how far you have come.
Have you ever been in these shoes before? Have you been able to get over it? If you have, what did you do?