You see, love relationships like every other relationship is like the piggy bank. What you put in is what you withdraw. You do not expect to save or invest nothing and present yourself at the bank counter to withdraw right? It is the same way with love relationships too. You have to invest in your relationship.
Even though I do not share the school of thought that relationship is hard work, I believe that a conscious effort to improve on yourself, your partner and the relationship is necessary. It is better when both parties are committed to investing in the relationship. Loving someone should not be hard work. No. But you should know that love is just the threshold investment. You need to build on it.
This isn’t rocket science at all. The little things done frequently are those things that count the most. If you are going to make ways to invest in your relationship, it’s a gradual process. Successful couples make investments bit by bit until there is so much in the account that they have where to fall on during the dry times. Inasmuch as we don’t want it, there will be dry times.
Look your partner’s way more than you do yours
Do for her while she does for you. Remember I said it’s better if you both are investing. Selfishness will quickly take its toll on you both if you aren’t watchful. Selflessness, I believe isn’t the direct opposite of selfishness, it is more. It takes more to be giving of oneself.
Also read: questions couples ask before marriage
Don’t just be grateful for stuff, express it to him or her
Sometimes non-verbal gratitude is never heard, make sure to be vocal about it. Don’t assume that she knows that you are grateful. After a long while, you forget to thank your partner and you begin to take even big favours for granted. Don’t do that.
Assert your partner
Let her know that she handled a situation perfectly well. Let him know that he picked the right tie for the occasion. We all want to be validated by our bosses, lecturers, parents etc. It is more beautiful when it is from our partners.
Read books together
For long distance relationships, you can both pick a book, read and share lessons. Another way is to read on your own and share lessons with your partner assuming s/he is the most busy one out of you both.
Talk about everything you can remember
It isn’t marriage, I get but if you want to run your relationship like everyone else out there, you both will fall into the pit. Make up your mind to be transparent, honest and sincere. A lot of relationships around are games. Don’t play it. It is draining, tasking and just wearisome.
Learn the habit of sorting out every damn issue
Don’t carry it over. I have learnt that this drains the account. It can singlehandedly run you bankrupt and empty the investment account. Bitterness and grudges begin to grow if you don’t make sure every disturbing issue is sorted.
Take time to learn your partner’s love language
Physical touching you may avoid in godly relationships. That in itself isn’t a sin but it can lead to sins. Some people have very responsive body systems and frequent touching by the opposite sex may spark up ungodly things. Asides from this, watch out for what drives them ‘crazy’.
Be sensitive to each other’s needs
Don’t wait for everything to be voiced out. Something happens when my man notes that I have something troubling me even though I try very hard to mask it. I feel loved and important. Be sensitive enough to know when he is about to fall ill. This has nothing to do with checking him out every time, it’s just about been aware of what’s going on around you two.
Do something special for each other frequently
It doesn’t have to be big. Little things go a long way. Buy him the book he has been going out in his mind to buy for months. Pick up her clothes for her at the dry cleaner’s.
Lastly be kind to each other
Kindness goes a very long way. If people everywhere are simply kind to each other in different ways, the world will be a better place. Bring happiness and smiles to each other’s faces. Make yourselves happy.
Are you in a relationship? What other ways do you invest in your relationship? I would love to hear from you.