You’re quiet? Great! You. Are. My. Kindred. Spirit. High five to that? Lol.
So, being quiet or being an introvert has its come-alongs. So is being extroverted or social. Every situation basically has its own come-alongs. So, what are some common things Nigerian introverts will relate to when living in the Nigerian society? What are the common questions we get asked?
Thing is, being an introvert in the U.S is an entirely different experience from being an introvert in Nigeria. Not surprising though due to the differing cultures. As it is different in the U.S, so is it different in China, Korea, Switzerland, Germany or any other country. Society shapes our experiences.
Quiet people in the U.S have written thousands of articles online, of which I have read plenty 🙂 Yes.. complaining about how much their extroverts don’t let them have quiet time. Always trying to drag them out to parties on Friday night. It seems the introverts in the U.S have party fright. Lol. Well, if you’re an innie (short for introvert) living in Nigeria especially in Yoruba land, party fright is not something you should relate to. We’ve gone to enough parties since we were kids to have useless party frights.
And moreover, the Yoruba idea of partying is about sitting at your table eating, watching the celebrants on the stage, nodding along to fast music, wealth competition and maybe dancing after the party. It doesn’t involve much talking or socializing. So there should be no cause for alarm for Nigerian introverts.
So, enough ranting right? Let’s get to the point. 10 true things you will relate to if you’re a Nigerian introvert? Let’s go!
1. The annoying question: “Why are you so quiet?” and the irritating exclamation, ” Oh… You’re so gentle!” Or this one, ‘Are you shy?’
That question ‘Are you shy?’ is even the most irritating. Because I am not talking doesn’t mean I’m shy! I am just quiet. Period. There are extroverted people that get shy or have stage fright as well. It is not totally an introvert thing. I am particularly very bold when I am very sure of what I am talking about. Unfortunately quietness is often mistaken for shyness.
And also you don’t need to point out to me that I am gentle! I am very fully aware! Telling me that only makes me annoyed and want to slap you in the face… Yeah.. I am really pissed at the people who have said those three sentences above to me. And I am very sure my other fellow Nigerian introverts can relate to this frustration.
2. Faking being social then later dropping the act because you feel miserable – and let’s be honest you are not comfortable in that fake extrovert skin.
I’ve faked it. I hated myself for it afterwards. All that nervous sweat and anxiety…. Not to add your inability to talk without stammering. *sighs*
3. And you’re actually faking it because there’s so much pressure from all around you to be more extroverted.
But you know what? Be comfortable in your introvert skin. You don’t need to change who you are to be loved or in order to fit in. Those that will love you, will love you!
4. Your rare ability to stay in your room all day without seeking out people to talk to.
It’s a total superpower. You have no problem staying in all day watching a movie or reading a novel. Not a gift many extroverts have; they are very dependent on interactions with people. While we don’t need constant interaction to remain happy! We are enough for ourselves! But truth be told, make that us plus a very close friend… At least for me.
4. Sitting quietly at a social gathering and observing people around you. Analysing, judging and watching them.
Even at parties, this trait still comes out in me. When I’m supposed to be dancing and chatting away, I will be busy watching others and silently judging them. But the thing is, it’s just who we introverts are. Some extroverted types of personalities find it really adorable actually.
5. That doubt and panic you feel when you’re about to call someone.
Because you are unsure of how to start the conversation. And you are also scared you’ll forget what you’re supposed to say out of nervousness. Talk about phone anxiety. Although I’ve gotten over it a bit. It was worse when I was younger.
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6. Seeing someone down the street coming towards you and looking for a quick shortcut to dodge the person; because you are scared you won’t greet appropriately, stumble over your words or say the wrong things.
You just want to avoid all forms of unnecessary talk. Also known as small talk.
7. Absolutely hating the waiting period after church service.
Especially if your parents have a car and you’ll all have to go home together. Which means you’ll have to wait for your parents to be done with their meetings. Which can take up to 2 or more hours. At that point, all your extroverted friends are jumping around socialising, but you are still glued to your seat looking like.. Well… Whatever you’re looking like.
That’s where I wish my parents didn’t have a car, so I could just go home immediately after the service.
8. While “Time-to-go-home” is the best gift ever!
“Finally nobody is looking at me that I am the only one sitting alone, because I will be home by then!” I say to myself. Halleluya!! Praise the Lord! Lol.
9. You don’t talk too much on a average day, but when it’s on a topic you love or you are with your close friends, you become the most extroverted in the room. Lol.
10. You absolutely hate the spotlight or any situation where all eyes will be on you.
You just want to run and hide. Like, ” No, no! Don’t look at me! I had better cover my face!” Lol. But, it’s all good. It’s not an introvert’s role to fill. Extroverts were created to fill that space. Introverts prefer to be the brain behind great work that is, behind the scenes. Rather than in spotlight. It explains why we get so uncomfortable.
Did you relate as an introvert? How many resonated with you? Everything? And did you enjoy the list? If so, do not leave without commenting! Tell me the one you related with the most!